Mothers Bentching Gomel

Question: After giving birth, should I go to shul to listen to my husband get an aliya or bentch gomel myself?

Answer: The Gemara (Berachos 54b) teaches that in the times of the beis hamikdash, one brought a korban toda upon surviving a potentially life-threatening situation, including crossing a desert or a sea, imprisonment or serious illness. Nowadays, we substitute this offering with a public blessing, known as hagomel.

While women would also bring korbanei toda, the acharonim suggest different reasons for why many women do not say the beracha. The Magen Avraham (Introduction to 219) suggests that some people believe that the beracha is optional (reshus). Therefore, he writes (219:4) that her husband should recite it on her behalf. The Pri Megadim (Eshel Avraham, Introduction to OC 219) challenges this, as none of the poskim consider it to be optional.

The Aruch Hashulchan (OC 219:6) suggests that this custom may have developed because women were not always present for leining. Nonetheless, he dismisses this reason, and maintains that women should recite the beracha.

The Baer Heitev (OC 219:1) writes that some acharonim suggest that it was not appropriate for women to recite berachos in the presence of a minyan. Nonetheless, he quotes the Knesses Hagedola who writes that she should say it from her seat loud enough for the men to hear. Alternatively, she can recite it in front of ten women and a man (see Mishna Berura 219:3; Kaf Hachaim OC 219:3). Likewise, the Shulchan Aruch Harav (Birkas Hanehenin 13:3) and the Chayei Adam (1:65:6) write that women should recite the beracha in the presence of a minyan.

R' Yitzchak Yaakov Weiss (Minchas Yitzchak 4:11) writes that a new mother should go to shul and respond to her husband’s berachos as he receives an aliya, with intent to thank Hashem. However, R’ Ovadia Yosef (Yechave Daas 4:15) challenges this, writing that one cannot recite hagomel on another’s behalf.

R' Moshe Sternbuch (Teshuvos Vehanhagos 1:195) notes that many women in chutz la’aretz do not recite hagomel. The Chazon Ish maintained that women should not recite the beracha. Nonetheless, he writes that the minhag in Yerushalayim is for women to do so. R’ Shlomo Zalman Auerbach (Halichos Shlomo, Tefilla 23:4) and R’ Eliezer Waldenberg (Tzitz Eliezer 13:17) add that she may do so at home in the presence of friends and relatives.

R’ Moshe Feinstein (Igros Moshe OC 5:14) adds that while we are machmir for men to recite hagomel in the presence of a minyan, a woman may do so in the presence of just one person, even her husband.

In conclusion, there are different practices regarding a mother reciting hagomel. In some shuls, women listen to their husbands receive an aliya. It is ideal for women to bentch gomel themselves, either in shul or in the presence of her friends and family.